I fail entirely at updating my journal. I've just gotten used to not having it, so I keep forgetting that it does in fact exist, so we'll just call this a hiatus for a little while until I become a more interesting person. I'll be back.

You can follow me on twitter if you want. I'm much better at the updating thing on it.
http://twitter.com/hopelesslylazy

Random storylines are my favorite thing, so here's one about Addison raising an unstable child.

Not a lot going on. I kind of got used to not having lj.

Grey's Anatomy is getting a little boring to me. Well, it has been for a while, but having to sit through Mark/Lexie is pretty much killing me. There should me more Mark scenes than just those involving her. It's not fair. I LOVE him and she's ruining my love. I absolutely loved Private Practice and I'm really excited for the rest of the season. Still waiting on Olivia and Elliot to just give in and throw themselves at each other. It BETTER eventually happen or I will be pissed off. Ummm, I don't remember much about new Bones eps. Lol. I think they were good. Yeah, nothing else going on.

I'm completely in love with Olivia Benson.

This flooding thing is insane. Watching the damage that's been inflicted on my small town is so sad. I just got news that one of my best friends has had to be evacuated and she and her family won't be able to go home for two months. Another friend's car was swept away and she had to wait for rescue from a tree. Cars and houses are underwater. A flooded gas station is leaking gas now. Way too close to home. Nothing ever happens here. This is crazy. And I HATE the constant sound of sirens. I'm feeling very blessed to live on top of hill.

I finally have internet.

*Dances*

I survived.

Still no internet. I'm not quite sure how I've survived considering I haven't had television either. BUT, Thursday I will actually be a part of the world again. I can't wait.

I've been without internet for the past couple of weeks. It's felt a hell of a lot longer. I wasn't aware that I was this dependent on it. I'm proud of well I've done though, no rocking in corners or attempting to type in mid-air. Looking up random questions I have for answers has been the hardest not to be able to do because little things always get to me and it kills me not knowing the answers. I'm not sure when I'll have internet at home again.

My birthday's in like a week and I had completely forgotten about it. Best friends are leaving the day before for a trip so I won't do much. Pretty much it. I live such a pointless life. Nothing happens. Ever. But somehow bad shit keeps getting heaped on. Rough few months.

You see what happens when I'm bored? I make crazy videos where Addison gets beaten up and has to resort to guns for safety. And has two daughters. You know, just because. There's definitely something wrong with me, but look, Addison with a gun! I got way too giddy about the ending.

Fuck. You. Youtube.

Josh is coming home in like twenty minutes. I haven't been able to sleep. There was no point really since I stayed up until 7 yesterday, there was no way I was going to be able to get enough sleep before I had to drag my ass out of bed to let him in anyway. I'm kind of happy to have my brother home in the, 'Well, I won't be alone which is probably good since it will force me to talk at least some during the day' and he can always make me laugh in a way that only brothers can. Oh and FOOD. It's been three months, I think, and I haven't had anything that didn't come from the microwave. I miss actual food. I am not going to miss the mess that comes with him though.

I do not want to go to a Wedding shower today, at all. I know that it's for one of my best friends, which I so should have had at least a few more years before ever having to say that, but I just do NOT want to be in a room with four people I know and her family. I don't know them. I am certain we've never even been in the same building and with all of my social issues lately, I don't think I can handle it. And the four people I know are going to hound me with annoying, "Are you okay?" questions and looks and I hate that more than I hate being in a room full of strangers. 

A Cooper/Charlotte video. They don't get enough love. And well, they're the only two that I'm usually not mad at (Addison, I'm looking at you!) when I watch the show.




And I'm really sucking at being an lj friend right now. I do read entries, I'm just horrible at commenting. I'm just in a bad place right now.

Alright, semi-positive me? Not working out so great. My sister is actually the biggest Bitch I've ever known and I have to say, I'm happy my mother is cutting her off on communication now because all she does is hurt her and she doesn't deserve it. To cement that, we totally packed up her cat who beat the shit out of me, put her on the porch and rang the doorbell. It was kind of exhilarating. We were supposed to watch the cat for a week 6 months ago and she would never take her back, this being the most annoying animal I've ever taken care of. So, before this happened, my mom's car completely died and she was only a minute away from my sister's, but of course, she or her husband couldn't be bothered to help. We're not worthy of their attention after all. My sister makes my mom feel so horribly beneath her, that it makes me want to hurt her, really hurt her.

Oh, and on top of the crappiest week I've had in a while, someone decided to steal our cable, which we didn't get back for four days. Four days feels long without internet, cable, and phone.

Positive, happy thoughts? I don't have cancer which is pretty damn awesome. I don't have to be closely monitored by doctors anymore, which is great because I really, really, really hate doctor's offices and the fact that it takes three separate people and over an hour of extra waiting(where I'm totally thinking I'm dying and they're trying to decide who gets to tell me) just to say that I'm okay. And my friend, who I've ignored for the past few weeks is kidnapping me for a random roadtrip today. We'll get lost in all of thirty minutes, but it will be fun.

I finally, FINALLY have my sister back. Not the shell of what once was my sister. Not the selfish, "all things unrelated to me are uninteresting and not worth my time" person that she's been for the last few years. I have *my* sister back. The one who cares about me, who does my hair and paints my fingernails and actually listens to my problems and watches crappy television with me and cares about people not involved in getting her drugs like you know, her own children. I am kind of ecstatic. She's even starting a real job tomorrow.
Thank you, Rehab. Fuck you, Drugs.

ETA: That post kind of makes me sound extremely selfish, only caring that she's okay for my benefit. I am thrilled for her kids and her husband. It's just, she was *the* person who noticed me, who took care of me, and then she just...didn't anymore. I stopped existing to her.

I've decided to stop being whiny and annoying and try out some positive thoughts once in a while. We'll see how this goes. Possibly the reason I don't post much on lj. If I'm not whining, well, what else am I going to write about. I got incredibly bored last night and made a new angsty, Addison video though.

A had an AMAZING night. Went to see David Cook at UGA and he was even more beautiful amazing than I thought. And I was actually pretty damn happy with the fact that Ryan Star opened for him because I made a video with one of his songs forever ago and no one I went with knew who he was. But yeah, David Cook! I loved him. And his songs actually sound better live, maybe simply because I was enthralled with looking at him. I was kind of surprised that he was still doing the show since last week there was a campus shooting...and well, his brother, but he was charming and funny and cute. And then I spent the night in the boys' dorm with my friends in their tiny as hell room and listened to the cooler idiotic boys make a Slip N Slide out of the hallway at 3 in the morning. Surprisingly, they got in all cleaned up in record time.

The only unfortunate thing was that I forgot my camera so I didn't get any pics of him!

Oh, and wow, I would be in killer shape if I lived on campus because damn, it's a long walk to everything.

Friendly note to self:

You can avoid looking like the world's most apathetic jackass by checking the instant message before hitting send.

P.S. You stopped praying a long time ago, but if there ever were a time to start, this would be it.

Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. I love you.